


Igniting a Fire

by goldtoashes, heirsofbrokenlegacies (jarofhearts)



Series: Making the most of loving you [6]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Anal Sex, Declarations Of Love, First Time, Hand Jobs, M/M, Romance, Soul Bond, Soulmates, Summer Camp, True Love, Years of the Trees
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28570998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldtoashes/pseuds/goldtoashes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofhearts/pseuds/heirsofbrokenlegacies
Summary: Maitimo takes heart and makes Findekáno’s dreams come true.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Series: Making the most of loving you [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034202
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	Igniting a Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Well, you all already know what happens in this part. What we would like to say here are three things:
> 
> 1\. This is NOT a realistic first time depiction by human standards! These boys have the benefits of being guided by a literal soul bond, and and the same time are experiencing the actual forming of said bond. Things are INTENSE. ^^
> 
> 2\. Speaking of soul bonds forming. It's our interpretation of LaCE that elves have a certain power over when they want to enter it. Sex alone is not enough. Also the boys are intuitively choosing this specific moment to bind their souls to each other's. It's not actually tied to any specific physical act. Nevertheless, forming a union of the mind is greatly facilitated when you are already united in body.
> 
> 3\. Because entering a soul bond is a deliberate choice, young unbonded elves may experiment with physical pleasure and engage in short-times romances with others, even with some that they know they are not ultimately compatible with. These romances usually end after a while in mutual understanding and both parties go their separate ways without any hard feelings.
> 
> All that said - please enjoy! :D

Light, warmth and a joyful innocence that cannot ever be regained once it is lost. That was what the Noontide of Valinor and the days of our youth were all about. The golden light of Laurelin, the gentle warmth of the air and, right now, the smooth rock below me that seemed to saturate my entire body. I closed my eyes in utter delight, enjoying how the little drops of water on my skin slowly disappeared. My head was resting comfortably on my crossed arms and I could have drowsed off like this, despite the chatter of my cousins around me. 

I couldn’t resist squinting into Nelyo’s direction, though. Just to make sure he was still watching me.

Bright grey eyes met my own. And just like last time, and the time before, and the one before that, and before that, he did not look away. In fact, he did not even look surprised at being caught. He just smiled at me, small and secret, before he unhurriedly turned towards Káno who was sitting beside him on the thick branch growing above the lake’s surface, and continued to talk to him.

And just like all these times before, it made my stomach flutter with excitement.

There was something… different in the way he looked at me. Ever since we had all come here, to this secluded place in the woods where my siblings, cousins and I spent a few weeks of hunting, fishing and swimming every year. And these looks he gave me were sufficient to make my heart beat faster in my chest. Maybe now he’d finally come around, maybe he had finally admitted to himself what had been so obvious for me all along. So far, he hadn’t done anything besides look and smile, though. And I wasn’t going to make a fool of myself rushing at him again like I had done that day in the library many years ago.

The sound of splashing water followed by my sister’s laughter and Tyelko’s soft curses caught my attention.

“Huan! Was that really necessary?”

“He doesn’t seem to be done with swimming yet,” Rissi remarked with a grin while our cousin tugged on his newly drenched shirt.

“He could have gone to Fin!  _ He’s  _ not dressed again yet.”

“What can I say, I am gifted with great foresightedness,” I grinned, pushed myself up and stretched lazily, not without another casual glance in Nelyo’s direction. Although he was still taller than me, I had gained some muscle recently and I fancied thinking that it made my reflection finally resemble more that of a grown elf instead of a gangly youth with too long limbs. Naturally, I didn’t particularly mind showing it off, especially when he was around. 

“In any case, I have no idea where my pants ended up anyway.”

“Oh, I can tell you that,” Tyelko huffed, busy pulling his shirt back off over his head. “Huan?”

He did not need to say anything more. Young as he was, the pup trotted out of the shallow water and into a grass where, after a few steps, he picked up a piece of fabric with his teeth and faithfully carried it to me.

“Alright, consider me impressed,” I stated under the laughter of everyone else and took the opportunity to scratch Huan behind his ears which he accepted with a delighted whimper. “Thanks, lad.”

“So that’s why Aldaron gave him to you, hm?” Rissi joked, giving Tyelko a friendly nudge to his ribs. “To have you finally clean up after yourself?”

“He gave him to me because he saw both our potential and knew that we would be great together. Right, boy?”

Huan barked and came bounding over to Tyelko, half bounding him over in his youthful enthusiasm. The elf, not bothered at all, only laughed and playfully wrestled with the hound for a little while.

“Where did you meet him anyway? Was it a coincidence?” Findo wanted to know, his voice and eyes earnest as he watched them from where he was sitting in the grass.

“In a way. I was out hunting in the woods when I came across him and his hunting party. Fortunately just the very moment I had the perfect shot at a deer,” Tyelko grinned, obviously enjoying the interest. “He said he had rarely seen such a masterful shot, even from his Maiar, and asked whether I would care to join them. In fact - Aldaron’s a bit scary at first but very nice once you get to know him.”

“I am envious,” Rissi pouted playfully. “Do you think I might come with you just once?”

I could not help but notice how Tyelko’s expression lightened instantly as he turned to her. “I’m sure you could! He would be very impressed with you, I think.”

“I was wondering, Tyelkormo,” Turko spoke up now from next to Moryo who was silently whittling away on a small piece of wood, “how does your father feel about your involvement with Aldaron?”

Tyelko narrowed his eyes a little. “Why are you asking?”

“Well, it’s known that he’s not that fond of the Valar, is he?”

“Is it,” Tyelko replied flatly. “Well, I am a grown-up, I suppose I can choose my own friends.”

“If we only chose to spend time with those our father approved of, we could not be here,” Moryo threw in without looking up from his piece of wood and the knife working away at it.

“Trust Moryo to kill the light mood,” I commented drily, but without actually feeling annoyed. While not being as close to him as to some of his brothers, I knew my cousin well enough to know his words were not ill-meant. If they had been, it would have sounded differently. And he was right, after all.

Turko, however, raised his eyebrows. “Is that only against the three of us, or are you offending Findo here as well?”

“Why, did I say anything that implied excluding him? No offence, Findo.”

“None taken,” the golden-haired elf replied, the corners of his mouth twitching lightly.

My brother didn’t seem to have anything more to say to that, but Moryo now raised his head and his voice.

“Nelyo, Káno! Is dinner happening any time soon?”

“If you get a fire going, it might!” Káno called back across the water, and instantly my gaze went back over to them where I found, once again, Nelyo’s eyes on me.

_ Stars.  _ If I hadn’t been undressed already, I surely would have felt that way in any case. 

“What about you?” I called back, not able to wipe the resulting grin off my face. “Something’s biting?”

Even from here I could see the way the corners of Nelyo’s mouth were twitching in amusement, while Káno - unsurprisingly and thankfully - took my words at face value.

“Enough to feed all your hungry mouths, I suppose.”

“We’ll see about that!” Tyelko called back, but he and Rissi were both getting to their feet to follow Moryo who was, indeed, retreating to our campsite under the trees a little further from the lake shore. I finally decided that it might be time to get into my pants and followed as well.

Preparing dinner was a routine, and so it didn’t take long until the large basses that Nelyo and Káno had drawn out of the lake were smoking over the fire with a delicious smell. Not even the best of all foods was enough to distract me from thinking about the look in Nelyo’s grey eyes though, and each time our gazes met, I felt as if I could impossibly take another bite. Still, he seemed to be content to just give me that small, amused private smile of his.

It might be time to jostle his composure a little. And so, once we had finished eating and Kanó took out his harp to play a few chords, I turned to Findo, asking him amiably whether he’d like me to braid his hair for him. 

“With that fine golden hair of yours, I think some Vanyarian styled braids would suit you,” I mused, lightly gathering a handful of it. “What do you think, do you want me to give it a try?”

“Go right ahead,” Findo smiled freely as I had known he would, sitting up a little straighter to help me braid evenly.

“Hey, Rissi,” I could hear Tyelko from where he was sitting somewhere to my left, “is it because your brother already knows all about it that you never bother with much braiding?”

“More because he always wanted me to sit still for him so he could dress my hair when I was little,” Rissi grimaced, although she winked at me while she did so.

“Oh, come on,” I hummed, running my hand through Findo’s long golden hair, before I started to skillfully plait the first small braid at his temple. “You looked so beautiful when I was done with you. Like an actual nettë, not something that stumbled out of the brushwood.”

Predictably, she threw a fishbone at me. I ducked and grinned to scattered laughter of the others.

Nelyo, I saw out of the corner of my eye, was smiling too, but his eyes were intent and rested on me barely blinking, gaze following every little movement of my hands.

“That would never happen to you, Fin, would it,” Káno threw in this time. The words could have been a sharp tease from someone else but were delivered with an amiable smile from him.

“What can I say, I inherited all of the Finwëan good looks,” I replied cheerfully, gently turning Findo’s head a little so I could start with the second braid, maybe fussing about him a little more than it was strictly necessary. “Not Indis’ golden hair, unfortunately.” Findo gave me an amused look, but he was clearly enjoying the attention. 

“Could be inheritance,” Rissi echoed, “or could be the result of two hours in the bathroom each night and more lotions and oils than one can possibly count.”

“Two hours!” Tyelko burst out laughing, a note of disbelief in his voice that clearly stated what his thoughts were on that matter.

“Well, it does pay off, does it not.” There was a smile audible in Findo’s voice, and Rissi rolled her eyes with good-natured amusement.

“Yes, yes, my brother is just the prettiest.”

“Unsurprisingly to everyone here, I at least would prefer a little rougher around the edges,” Tyelko said as he stretched out on the grass very casually.

“Aw Tyelko, my heart’s broken,” I teased, taking up the different braids to plait them into the intricate pattern I had admired so often in the hair of my beautiful grandmother. “But I’ll get over it by telling myself that you’re not my type either, after all.”

“So what  _ is  _ your type?” The question, unexpectedly enough, came from Moryo.

The question made me bite my lip and smile. Although I made a point to not look at Nelyo, I felt his gaze on me, like a burning touch on my skin.

"I'm afraid it's not you, either, Moryo,” I thus just replied lightly. “Starting with the fact that neither of you two would ever let me braid your hair, which I am afraid is a deal-breaker.”

“Ah… well, you know my door is always open for you,” I could hear the grin in Findo’s voice, and the choked noises from several of those around us at once.

“Highly appreciated, sweetest cousin,” I laughed, playfully hugging his shoulders and nuzzling into his hair. Before getting back to the task at hand, though, I quickly glanced over at Nelyo who had gotten to his feet to gather and bury the fishbones. He only glanced at me briefly this time, eyebrows subtly raised.

“Aside from my brother’s romantic preferences -” I heard my little sister speak up and Turko throw in a dry, “Yes please” before they all moved on indeed to a different topic. I barely listened anymore, though, concentrating on the braids in my hands instead.

It didn’t take too long until I was finished. Admittedly, the result would have been neater if I had a proper comb, but the few loose strands that had slipped out of the braid here and there in fact suited Findo and his easy-going, approachable nature.

I had just finished, admiring my work, the camp around me bustling with activity now as everyone cleaned up, when Nelyo’s voice carried over to me.

“Fin, if you’re done, you can come gather new firewood with me. I believe it’s just about your turn.”

It was Rissi’s turn, really, but my sister didn’t protest - and I certainly was not about to either.

“Sure,” I replied as casually as I could potentially manage with my heart suddenly racing. When was the last time the two of us had been alone together? I couldn’t remember and it took all my self-restraint to not jump up to my feet and hurry to his side. Instead I exchanged a few casual words with Findo before I walked at a leisurely pace to where Nelyo leaned against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest.

Once I had reached him, he pushed himself away and took the lead away from the camp, his expression calm and even. He didn’t say a thing while my heart was racing in my chest, making every moment feel longer than it really ought to.

“So,” Nelyo spoke up when we were well out of earshot of the camp, though made no intention yet of slowing down or even starting to collect firewood. “You know exactly what you are doing, aren’t you.”

Stars, he was beautiful, even in the simple, loose hunting gear he was wearing. Or even more so - I always thought he looked somehow better, more fierce, when he dressed plainly than in his colorful, princely robes. For a moment, my gaze was caught by the fading light of Laurelin brightening his red hair even here in the shadow of the trees.

“What I don’t know, though,” I heard myself saying, the sound of my voice giving away the sudden dryness of my mouth, “is if it’s working.”

Nelyo’s hand on my arm pulled me to the side and against the rough bark of a tree, and suddenly he was right there before me, his grey eyes all that I could see.

“Yes you do,” he said, tipped my head up with a gentle hand and kissed me.

At first I was so perplexed that I couldn’t even react, the only thoughts left in my mind being,  _ this isn’t happening  _ and _ finally, finally. _ Everything around us seemed to blur and slip out of my focus, everything that wasn’t Nelyo’s hand cradling my face and his warm mouth on my own. My lips opened more out of instinct than anything else and suddenly I was glad about the tree at my back, because my knees were buckling in a quite undignified manner.

A warm, steadying arm wrapped around my waist and held me against him, and the kiss grew softer, slower, as though it lingered only because he was savouring the taste and feel of his lips on mine. A low hum rumbled in his chest and his thumb brushed over my cheek before we parted barely enough for him to tip his forehead against mine.

“Thank you… for waiting for me.”

“Nelyo…” As if ‘not waiting’ had ever been a realistic alternative. Yet my mind was still swimming, too overwhelmed to provide any coherent sentence for my mouth to speak. I just knew I wanted him so much right now that it almost hurt, my lips burning from his kiss and yet sorely missing the touch of his already. “I’m… can we just…”

His other hand had come up too, both of them cradling my face and caressing my cheeks as though holding the most precious thing in the world.

“Just what?”

He was still so close I could feel the breath of air on my lips when he spoke.

“Just... kiss me again,” I whispered, sounding longing even to my own ears.

But the smile I received from Nelyo was worth it. More so, even, when he did not hesitate at all to tip my head back up and do as I had asked. A soft, delighted moan escaped my lips, but this time I was not content to just stand there awestruck and let myself be kissed. My lips moved against his, careful at first but growing bolder quickly. Now that my mind was finally coming to terms with the fact that this was indeed happening, I sensed some hot and powerful sensation inside of me slowly unfolding. On an impulse, I reached out for him, letting my hand slide into his beautiful red hair, tugging on one of the small braids there. I wanted to do so many things right now, kiss him, run my hands through his hair and all over his strong body, everything that would convince me that he was,  _ finally, _ mine at last. 

The urgency I felt must have burned up between us, or he was feeling the same things I did, because his kiss turned heated and intense like a brightly lit flame. But before it could truly make me dizzy, Nelyo eased off, the kiss turned softer before it ended despite my best efforts not to let it.

“Easy,” Nelyo’s breathless voice murmured in my ear, his long fingers combing soothingly through my hair. I growled a little, turning my head to press a fluttering line of kisses to his jaw instead.

“You really think I can be patient right  _ now _ ?” My voice sounded raw, breathless, and as overwhelmed as I felt.

“You have been for so long,” Nelyo was smiling at me, his thumbs brushing over my cheekbones possibly the most gentle touch I had ever felt. “And we have all the time in the world. So slow down for a moment and just breathe for me, alright?”

I grumbled my consent and let my head fall against his shoulder instead. Wrapping my arms around his upper body, I could feel his breathing, maybe a little faster than usual as well. While the sense of dizziness slowly faded and my mind cleared, I still felt utterly exhilarated and was glad for his strong embrace confirming to me once more that this was  _ real. _

“Mmh. You’re still taller than me,” I muttered a little incoherently against his collarbone. “Why  _ now _ ?”

Nelyo’s gentle laughter sent a small shiver through me, close as it was to my ear.

“I will always be taller than you, Fin.” But he fell quiet then, and I could feel that he was considering his words, taking a moment for himself to sort his thoughts before speaking again. “I needed a lot of time to - to get over my fear,” he said, his voice quiet now. “To understand that the thought of you feeling this for someone else, looking like this at someone else, of -  _ choosing  _ someone else was something I could not bear.”

Now it was me who gave a small, disbelieving laugh, even though my stomach fluttered once again at his words. “Choosing someone else… I would have  _ never _ .” Blinking up at him, I added with a giddy smile, “Just in case you were worried about Findo… let me assure you that I have a rather particular and exclusive thing for redheads.”

The smile he gave me set my heart alight, and I wondered how he could ever have thought differently. “I was never worried about Findo,” he shook his head and pressed his lips to my cheek. “But let me assure you that my hair is yours to do with as you wish, whenever you wish, if that is what makes you happy.”

“Hmm…” I took the opportunity to run a hand through the shining, copper tresses. “I might take you up on that offer. Even though I’d rather muss it up than braid it right now. Stars, I want to touch you everywhere, now that you’re -” I stopped, another, more serious thought crossing my mind. “How? How are we going to do this? I mean…”

I could see on his face that he knew exactly what I meant, and I remembered what he had said - that this must have been one of the things he had agonized over. The joy in his eyes clouded over with worry, even though he never let go of me, his fingertips dancing over my hair to brush it out of my face.

"I truly am sorry to be asking this of you at all. But will you wait with me a while longer before we tell anyone? I -" He let out a soft breath, a sigh, and I could see that worry play out on his features. "I fear that - If more time passes, once you are older, and our siblings as well… maybe it will not matter as much what  _ we _ do," he said, his piercing grey eyes half worried, half hopeful that I would understand.

“Wait longer…?” I felt a sudden sting of anxiety that the blissful, warm feeling was about to be taken away from me once again. “Are you saying… we’ll still be pretending with each other we’re nothing more than cousins? Even if we both know it isn’t so?”

" _ No _ ."

The reply came immediately, a world of conviction in it even though the word was barely more than a breath. Before I knew it, he had cradled my face again and his lips were on mine once more, calming, reassuring, comforting, passionate.

"No," Nelyo breathed again as soon as he could, our lips barely parted. "Not when it's  _ us _ ."

“Good,” I muttered against his lips, feeling relieved and ridiculously giddy with excitement over the little word  _ us _ , “because there’s no way I’ll let you go back to that after you have kissed me like this.” Feeling bolder now, I leaned in to press a kiss to his lips myself, revelling in the glorious feeling that I finally could do this.

“So… exemplary Prince Nelyafinwë Maitimo, heir to the High Kingship of the Noldor, wants to do some sneaking around?” 

Although the words were spoken playfully, I had to admit the thought held a certain thrill for me, of the kind that so many forbidden things did. And I was fairly certain he could see it, a spark of relief and amusement and something more…  _ intense  _ in his eyes.

“Will you do that with me, Prince Findekáno?” he murmured, one hand still cupping my face, while his lips wandered in little kisses over temple, cheek, jaw and neck. “Under everyone’s noses? While I promise…” I felt a sigh on my neck, an inaudible breath, and he gently pressed his forehead to my pulse and said, “I swear to you by all of Elentári’s stars in the sky that I am yours.”

Stars indeed. It wasn’t as if I could have thought about my answer, even if I had wanted to, not with his lips all over me, sending such delicious jolts down my spine. 

“Yes.” The answer was on my lips anyway, my voice sounding so raw and needy that I barely recognized it myself. “Yes, yes… a thousand times yes. Nelyo,  _ please _ …”

“Shh, Fin…” More soft kisses scattered across my skin until they finally reached my lips again. For a long moment, he simply kissed me again, enveloping me in warmth in every sense of the word. It brushed against my mind, and I recognized  _ him _ , just like the gentle touch of his hand. I reached for him eagerly, surprised how easy it was now that there were no more uncertainties, no more distance between us. And I wanted him to know so desperately, wanted him to understand, make him feel how much I loved him, how much I needed him, how much I wanted everything of him now that he finally understood that we should be together.

_ I want to kiss you… I need you to hold me… I want to touch you everywhere… I want to be all yours and you to be all mine… Nelyo… my Nelyo… _

_ I am. Yours _ .

I had never understood him so clearly before, so effortlessly, our connection flowing between us like the wide, smooth windings of a river. I realized that we had stopped kissing, that we were simply breathing together, foreheads touching, his thumb brushing slowly over my cheek.

_ You will have me, and I you. But I want better for you than behind a tree. _

And he was smiling at me, loving and just a little teasing.

“So maybe we should finally start looking for that firewood and get back.”

“Nothing wrong with trees,” I scowled, but even though I was deeply unwilling to let go of him so soon, of course he was right as always. So after a few more secret, longing kisses, we hastily collected some wood and then returned. It was weird, though, to rejoin our siblings and cousins who were still sitting around the campfire, lazily bantering and passing around a bottle of wine while listening to the tunes of Káno’s harp. As if the whole world hadn’t changed within the last hour, as if the glow of Telperion’s silver light wasn’t brighter and the songs of the nightingales all the more cheerful for it. And of course Nelyo acted perfectly as if nothing more had ever happened between us than maybe a normal exchange between two dear cousins, whereas I didn’t know how I managed to keep myself from grinning like an idiot from one ear to the other. It didn’t help that the warm, gentle presence in my mind remained, like a silent, secret embrace even though he was sitting apart from me, picking up a random conversation with Moryo instead.

I tried to distract myself with other topics, but every time our eyes met, I felt flooded with this feeling of warmth once again, of being treasured and loved, and it made my head spin. Of course I had fantasised about this very moment thousands of times in a hundred different ways, yet now I found that none of the fantasies quite met reality. 

Especially, it had never occurred to me that Nelyo of all people, Nelyo the responsible, the considerate, the rule-abiding noble prince, would do something like this - meeting in secret, behind the backs of his brothers and his family. And at this time, in those early days of our long journey together, it filled me with a mad thrill that I was the reason why he would do something so very untypical. Ignore all the rules just to steal some heated kisses from my lips in an unseen moment. Let his hand casually brush over my thigh in passing and leave me burning. Wake me up in the middle of the night while everyone else was sleeping, days after he had finally allowed me into his heart. Our siblings and cousins were fast asleep, possibly due to the wine that had been passed around freely in the evening. I now understood why Nelyo had signalled me to go easy on the drink when he silently took my hand and led me away from the camp and down to the lake for a swim. A swim that would of course end up with the two of us tangled in a passionate embrace in shallower water, kissing breathlessly, my hands running eagerly over his perfectly formed body, tracing the wet muscles under his skin well out of sight of the others, sheltered by distance, trees, bushes and a formation of rock just by the shore.

We were in our own world then and there, in a globe out of reach of everything and everyone, floating in our happiness. Nothing could touch us here, everything that mattered was that we had made it here together, that we had chosen this - both of us.

And it felt so right that my fëa was singing with unadulterated joy.

“Have you done this?” Nelyo’s voice was quiet and raw in my ear, his hands unhurriedly caressing my hip. “Touched yourself before?”

“What do you think…” His words were sufficient to make me gasp softly. The water around us was not too cold, and we were so close that I could feel his arousal, could feel him pressing hard against my stomach. “Of course I have. Thinking about you, about  _ this. _ How it would feel to have your hands touch me instead of my own…”

A soft, delighted chuckle just as he bit lightly into the shell of my ear sent another shudder through me. “Why don’t we find out?” he suggested, gently kissing his way down my neck. “And you tell me how it feels.”

His hand was wandering, from my hip over my stomach, fingers caressing me with light, tender touches that made me yearn for so much, so much  _ more _ . And maybe he had heard me, or simply knew, because he went on, downward, sure fingers wrapping around me in a slow, unhurried stroke. Moaning softly, my toes instinctively curled in the sand under my feet.

“Stars,  _ yes _ … that feels so good, you’re so good…”

My hands slid down his strong back and down to the curve of his buttocks, squeezing encouragingly as I leaned closer into his touch, eager for more. And I was delighted when I heard the soft groan I pulled from Nelyo, when I felt him respond in his touch, a little firmer than before, a little surer too.

_ Yes. Yes, I can take all that, and more. _

“Fin… mmhh. Go on…”

He didn’t have to tell me twice. It was the first time I had him without any distracting clothes, and the feeling of hard, lean muscles under my exploring hands would have been sufficient to excite me to no end. Along with the firm touch of his hand, it made my head spin. I couldn’t help thrusting lightly into his hand, while my lips trailed down from the line of his jaw to his collarbone, my raw whisper in his ear.

“My Russo... you’re so beautiful, so perfect… I want to touch you all night…”

There was a soft, quiet gasp my ears only just picked up, but the shudder that went through Nelyo’s body I felt clearly enough, arousal swirling not just in me, but on the edge of my awareness as well. The way he kissed me was hungry and intent, yet with that soft edge to it that spoke of a world of deep affection and care, his free hand dipping to the small of my back to encourage the roll of my hip.

“I don’t hold a candle to you,” he murmured against my lips, starlight caught in his silver-grey eyes as he looked at me. “You’re  _ radiant _ .”

His praise sent a shiver all over my skin and drew another soft moan from my lips before I could give him a dazzling smirk. “Keep saying things like that, beloved… and I promise you can do with me whatever you want.”

Nelyo laughed and pressed his forehead against mine, the next kiss a gentle brush of his lips while his thumb did something incredibly amazing that sent a jolt of arousal through my whole body and made me moan loudly.

“Like this? Like how I cannot stop watching you whenever you’re anywhere in my sight? The slope of your mouth, how it would feel under my fingers… when you smile, or moan. The way you move, so sure and graceful, and like you know exactly how stunning you are.”

Damn, he’d always had a way with words. Hot, impatient arousal was shooting through my body and before I could think, my teeth found his lower lip, biting down with a low groan. 

_ I want more of you, Nelyo, give me more… _

My mind was swirling with desire, one of my hands burying deeply in his hair, the other reaching downwards and closing around his hardened length, urgent, impatient.

I wanted, I  _ wanted…  _ oh…

“Fin - Fin, hey -”

I cut him off rather by accident because I just had to kiss him again. And he kissed me back, but before I could get even dizzier than I was feeling, Nelyo pulled back and -

I was turned around suddenly, his arm firmly around my waist, holding me pinned against his chest. His breath was going fast in my ear, my heart stumbling when I felt his hard length pressing against the curve of my backside.

“Slow down,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. “Slow down. You have all of me, there’ll be time for it all. But right now…” And his hand wrapped back around me, my impatient whine turning into a long groan as my mind went blissfully blank.

I barely noticed the surface of the lake gleaming in silver light, the soft breeze cooling my heated skin, or the incoherent words and moans spilling from my lips -  _ stars, yes, please, Nelyo, don’t stop... _ My world shrank, seemed to concentrate on the firm body behind me, the strong hand that was stroking me so deliciously, his low voice in my ear that fuelled my arousal.

The echo of it licking at my awareness, enveloping me completely, hröa and f ë a both.

“You sound so beautiful,” I could hear Nelyo sigh in my ear, his fingers stroking my tip in a way I had never thought to do before. His other hand was on my chest, my shoulder, his lips too. “I knew you would. Stars, Fin, I thought about you, of course I did, you don’t even know… thought about what you’d feel like, if I could touch you… if you could be mine…”

“I am yours… I…” But I couldn’t go on, my voice breaking when he brought his hand down one more time which pushed me right over the edge. Pressing against him fiercely, my body was shivering delightfully and I had to close my eyes, savoring every moment. When the wave of pleasure slowly died down, my limbs felt gloriously heavy and I was glad for the strong support of his arm around my waist.

“Russo,” I muttered affectionately, sagging against his chest and feeling so deeply, so utterly satisfied. 

He nuzzled quietly against my temple, pressed a kiss there, and his hand brushed over my stomach softly, soothingly, yet he never loosened his hold on me. As if he really did not want to let me out of the circle of his arms again, not ever.

“My beautiful,” he said softly, just like he always said my name.

“Hmmm,” I replied with a not very elaborate but deeply satisfied sigh, turning just far enough to be able to slide a hand to his neck and kiss him again, slow and gentle and utterly thankful.

“What about you,” I muttered when my conscious thought slowly returned to me. “Do you want me to…?”

“I already did,” he smiled and pressed our lips together again, one hand of his finally coming up to brush wet strands of hair back over my shoulder. And indeed - now that I paid attention, he wasn’t as hard against me anymore as he had been before. “If you think I can remain that unaffected by the sounds you make and you squirming against me like that, you don’t yet understand your hold over me.”

His words sent a warm shiver through my entire body and I couldn’t help but give him a broad, happy grin. “Stars, I  _ love _ it when you tell me things like that.”

“I figured you might,” Nelyo laughed, gently nudging his nose against my jaw. “And you deserve to hear them.” He paused, and I felt his arm tighten lightly around me, his voice more quiet than before. “To  _ feel  _ them. How special you are to me.”

I was silent then, my fingertips gently drawing invisible patterns on his naked chest. “I always knew you were,” I finally said with a soft smile. “Special to me.  _ Meant _ for me, or at least I’d like to think that. And… I know you may feel that all of this is going so fast now. If you need more time, I’ll understand. It’s just… I just cannot remember any moment of my life in which I didn’t know that I was going to choose you.”

I could feel something tingle at the edge of my awareness, something unmeasurably warm and encompassing, something that was mirrored in those grey eyes that were looking up at me as though I was holding the answers to Eä itself.

“Maybe I am. Meant for you,” he clarified, wonder in his eyes. “If - if we’re feeling this…” Now he lightly pressed his hand to the center of my chest, right where that pull to him had always been strongest. “Both of us. Then maybe you can only be right.”

“We,” I whispered, placing my hand on his, “we are right.” 

_ When you meet the one that is right for you, you’ll know,  _ I heard my mother’s gentle voice in my head. I supposed neither she nor anyone else would have ever considered that the right spouse for me would turn out to be one of Fëanáro’s sons. Even Nelyo had been bewildered when he had first discovered that his feelings towards me were not the love he would bear towards any cousin, after all. But now eventually it seemed that neither of us was willing to betray the utter, deep feeling of certainty that this  _ was  _ right, that this was how it was meant to be. Or that this was how it would be, as we were both aware by the strong feeling of longing in our chests that our bond was not completed yet.

“Nelyo… I love you. And I want you, and I want to choose you. I think… I always have and I always will,” I said quietly, a shiver running over my skin and I wasn’t quite sure whether it was due to the cool night air or to his gaze still resting on me. “Will you have me?”

At first, he did not say anything, simply held my gaze and brought his hand up to cradle my face, the touch of his thumb brushing over my cheekbone of the utmost gentleness. His eyes were seas of silver so up close, something I wanted to drown in.

“It would be both my greatest honour and greatest pleasure,” he said in a voice wavering between solemn and utterly affectionate. “And you? Will you have me as well, Findekáno Ñolofinwion?”

“I don’t think I have ever been very subtle about wanting you to be mine,” I muttered, sensing a broad, stupid grin spreading all over my face. “So yes, of course I will.”

It looked like he could not keep the wide smile off his face either. I still felt it even as he kissed me, long and deep, with urgency but also as though we had all the time in the world.

Maybe, that night, we did. We stayed there in the shallow water for what might have been hours for all I knew, time flowing away from me on his kisses, his arms wrapped around me, his body pressed to mine. Yet eventually, he took my hand and led me out onto the shore again, Telperion’s light glistening silvery on our naked bodies. We did not bother dressing.

By his hand, he led me further away from the lake, from our camp. The grass had never felt so rich under my bare feet, the night never so sweet and fragrant to my senses.

A small clearing opened up before us eventually, giving an unobstructed view on the sky that shone in a soft silver. I realized only on second glance that there was a blanket spread out in the grass, a leather bag nestled onto one corner. I gave Nelyo a curious gaze, my heartbeat becoming just a little faster.

“You planned ahead.” It was more a statement than an actual question, my mouth suddenly feeling dry from… excitement, anticipation, nervousness? I wasn’t sure.

Nelyo’s hand slipped out of mine, but only for his arm to wrap around my waist as he stepped up behind me and pressed his lips to my shoulder.

“I meant it… I do want better for you than behind some tree,” he murmured, pressing his face into my hair.

“Uh, right,” I said, trying to sound casual and failing miserably. Of course I  _ knew  _ in theory how a union between two hröar and fëar was consummated, and as all young elves I had snuck into the back of the library in Tirion to flip through the books discussing the pleasures of the hröa, intrigued while nervously keeping an eye out for any librarian. Yet there was a difference between reading and actually  _ doing _ something, and with Nelyo so close to me, my mind went completely blank so I couldn’t remember anything in any case. Leaning against him, I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. He’d know what to do, he always did. I just had to make sure not to make a complete fool out of myself, but I was fairly certain I could manage. Especially when Nelyo murmured, “I’d like to just kiss you for a while longer first.”

He pressed a new kiss to the side of my neck, long and lingering, and entwined our hands again, gently tugging me along with him, and I followed without even thinking.

Before long, we were down on the blanket he had spread out for us, kissing and hands roaming all over each other’s bodies once more. This was easy and felt oddly familiar by now, even though it still took my breath away to touch him like this instead of only imagining in my mind how it would feel to run my hand over that smooth skin and feel the hard muscles underneath. Yet the feeling of nervousness remained and I felt myself becoming all agitated with the growing urge to get it done before the tension would drive me mad. 

It must have been evident in the way I kissed and touched and pressed against him, because eventually, Nelyo pulled away from our kiss. I could feel him hard between our bodies, but in his grey eyes and his fingers that came up to brush my hair away from my face, there was something worried.

“What is it?”

“Nothing,” I hurried to say but only made his frown deepen.

“ _ Fin. _ ”

I sighed a little and gave him an apologetic look. “I’m just nervous, that’s all. You know…” I felt heat rising to my face at my words, “… you know I haven’t done… this… with anyone before, don’t you?”

Something flashed in his eyes I couldn’t quite determine, but they were also incredibly soft as he nodded, thumb brushing over my cheek.

“We will figure this out together,” he promised me, tipped his head up and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “If you tell me what you want, and don’t want - and don’t tell me what you think would please me, but what you really feel. Alright?”

“Alright,” I agreed, feeling slightly relieved. “I want… I  _ do  _ want you, Nelyo. All of you.” To emphasize my words, I leaned in to brush my lips over his in an affectionate gesture. “I think it would be... easier if you just took the lead on this, though. You know how this works, after all.”

I expected him to agree instantly, to take the reins as he always did, with a little smile maybe, and another reassuring kiss.

But instead he hesitated - only for a short moment, but it was enough for me to notice and realize that my assumptions had been wrong all along. 

“You don’t,” I said slowly, disbelieving and at the same time oddly amazed. “You… haven’t lain with anyone before either. Have you?”

This time, what I could see in his face was a flash of insecurity, his gaze flickering away from mine, the way I had seen before in moments when he felt… lacking. It was obvious to me how much he struggled with his next words, with his admission.

"… no. I haven't."

"Oh." 

I didn't know what to say at first, still too surprised by this admission. "But you, how… I mean you're…"

_ … beautiful, admirable, charming, Firstborn of the Crown Prince, you could have had anyone… _

I still remembered vividly the time I had seen him kiss Nórimo. I had been a child back then and barely understood why the mere sight had filled me with such helpless fury. And when I grew older, of course I had noticed the way others looked at him and always felt a sting of envy, imagining my Nelyo in the arms of others, kissing, caressing, whispering the sweet, loving words I would have liked to hear from him so desperately. 

I had never dared to hope my envy had been unfounded.

After a long moment, Nelyo raised his eyes to mine again, with more determination in them now.

"It never felt right."

But after that, he fell silent, as though he could not find the words to explain the struggles he had gone through on this path to where we both were now. I didn’t need to hear them in any case, not now. Overwhelmed with a feeling of warmth and affection, so strong it drowned out the nervousness, I reached out, gently cupping his cheek.

“I am so glad to hear,” I whispered, before kissing him once more, trying to put all the emotions that were racing through my mind into the caress.

_ I love you. I trust you. I can’t believe you waited for me… _

And, somehow, with the way our presence still lingered at the edges of each other's consciousness, I'm sure he heard me. Because the deep urgency with which he kissed me back was nearly overwhelming. His fingers tangled securely in my hair, holding me close as though he was the one now who wanted to make sure that I would not slip away from him. Not that I would have tried, not for the world. The insecurity I had felt was gone, making way for a feeling of warm determination and curiosity. I hadn’t thought that it would feel this good, realizing that even self-assured, smart Nelyo didn’t know everything and could feel insecure sometimes.

_ Yes. We’ll figure this out together. _

And, as I discovered very quickly, finding out together what we were doing, what we  _ wanted _ to do, was even better than what I had imagined it to be when asking him to simply show me.

My own sudden confidence seemed to help bring Nelyo's back, too. He smiled at me more freely, murmured sweet little words into my ear that felt utterly, heart-wrenchingly honest and adoring, and asked, with everything he did, for confirmation that this was exactly what I wanted - with and without words. He wouldn’t have needed to worry, I couldn’t imagine that there would have been anything that I would have refused at this hour that had to do with his strong hands and his mouth all over my body. And not worrying any longer that I could make a fool of myself, I now felt bold enough to explore and even reach out and guide his hand if needed. Although it wasn’t as if he needed much guidance. It seemed to me he knew my body better than I did myself, his mere touch enough to stir my desire once again and leave me gasping and shuddering with new arousal.

When I had said he had planned ahead, I had not entirely realized the full truth of the statement. Because without it, we would have probably failed at the first hurdle - but as it was, his fingers were slick against my skin, touching me in a way that was slow and patient and loving, and still seemed to light me up from inside.

"You said you have touched yourself before…" he murmured against my neck, and I could hear the silent question vibrating between us.

_ Here too? _

“Mhmm. I’m curious, as you know…”

I didn’t even feel embarrassed any longer when I shared with him some brief memories about the times I had experimented with my body, fantasizing about how it would be to feel him instead of my probing fingers, his body against mine instead of a clingy blanket, his voice in my ear instead of my own silent gasps.

His quiet, involuntary moan was just the way I had dreamed it so often.

In retaliation, he shared moments of his own, of what it had been like when the fear, the uncertainty and questions had finally melted away and he had allowed himself the thought of me while touching himself, silent and still a little guilty. But how even that faded and love and desire grew each time we saw each other as I grew and matured, each time he was alone again and relived the memory of me. Seeing, feeling that he had indeed desired me as much as I had him was sufficient to make me moan impatiently, my hips bucking against his without my doing, my hand tightening in his hair.

“Nelyo… stars, please… don’t make me wait any longer.”

“Are you sure?” he wanted to know, his voice rough in my ear, and I understood that he was not asking about my conviction in this bond with him, in a  _ marriage  _ with him. But already he shifted, adjusting us both, lips pressing a line of kisses along my neck. “If anything feels uncomfortable - tell me,  _ please _ .”

“Yes,” I just whispered without thinking. I had never been so sure about anything in my life as I had been about the two of us, the utter certainty that this was  _ right  _ in every sense of the absolute. I gently tugged on his hair to look him in the eyes.

“Come here, let me feel you.”

He was there right away, forehead tipping against mine, and captured my lips in a deep, toe-curling kiss. Our bodies tangled, wrapping around each other in our search to get closer,  _ closer _ , and I did feel him then, carefully pressing against me, both in body and in mind.

Familiar and yet not, new and exciting and nerve-wrecking, but beautifully comforting and reassuring, simply because it was  _ him _ . I had wondered before whether it might indeed feel uncomfortable or awkward, but if there was a moment of unease, I forgot about it right away, mesmerized by the affectionate gentleness I could feel in each touch, each kiss, in the gleam of his eyes. It felt so right, so powerful that I stopped thinking and let pure instinct take the lead on this. My body was easing against his, welcoming him just as my fëa opened up to his bright spirit, all the time driven by the strong, inevitable conviction that  _ this is right, this is how it’s meant to be… _

Wordlessly, I urged him on, my thighs pressing a little closer against him,  _ go on, Nelyo, love, this is fine… I’m good… you’re so good… _

He was right there, cradling me in our mind as much as with his body, pressing lingering, breathless kisses to my face.

_ Fin, oh… I love you so much, so much… _

He was shivering, I realized, a soft tremor in his body that I could barely even detect over the near overwhelming things my own body was experiencing. He was so bright and strong, and I felt him so intimately, so incredibly close, knowing, sensing that all his focus was on me and me alone… And then he gently moved inside of me and I shuddered and gasped, the sensation lighting up a brilliant spark right inside me that flared up with a vengeance. Burning through my body, it made me feel more alive and more whole than I had ever been before and my arms around him tightened, pulling him closer in an attempt to melt into him even more than I already had.

_ I’m yours, Nelyo… until the end of time, I’ll be all yours… _

_ Yours _ , it echoed between us, and I did not know anymore whether it was him or me. I felt like I was bleeding into him, our essence slowly flowing into the same vessel, nearly overwhelming enough that the physical ecstasy of our joining faded into the background for a while.

I felt the overwhelming joy that fuelled my own, the steady beat of what I knew to be love, the nervousness of not making this as perfect as it should be, the breathtaking physical ecstasy whenever he moved in me. I think I heard myself cry out with sheer pleasure - or maybe it was him, I couldn’t be sure anymore. Everything that wasn’t him and me seemed to melt away, fading into grey shadows while the two of us were ablaze, the barriers around our separate minds crashing down until there was no him and me, only  _ us _ . Our hearts were beating in perfect unison, bodies arching and shuddering in the desperate attempt to become one as well and rushing each other into blissful, perfect oblivion.

It took me a while to come down enough that I became even remotely aware of my own sensations again, my frantic heartbeat, the feeling of his weight on me and the heat of his skin against mine, the warmth of his breath against my neck.

I could only guess that he needed as much time as I did to even determine where either of us began or ended. It was the strangest, most intense feeling of fullness and completion, as though before, there had always been a part of me missing without me even realizing it. But now that it was there, I could not even grasp the concept of being without it anymore, like the use of my limbs or of my eyes and ears.

Nelyo shifted eventually to raise his head, cup my face in his hand and just  _ look  _ at me, silent wonder in his eyes and like a soft current in our bond. And I just couldn’t help but smile at him, feeling giddy with joy at this beautiful, newfound feeling.

It wasn’t as if I really  _ needed _ to ask, but oh, I wanted to.

“So, husband -” I stopped, for a moment senselessly delighted at the mere sound of the word on my tongue. “- was that how you imagined it to be?”

“Better,” Nelyo breathed without even a heartbeat of hesitation, his eyes bright like Telperion itself. “I never even imagined -”

He did not finish his sentence, but he did not need to. I felt his wordless awe.

With his thumb brushing over my cheek, he leaned closer, pressed a soft, lingering kiss to my forehead and drew me into his arms again. When he spoke next, I could hear the smile in his words.

“I want to ask how you feel. But I  _ know _ .”

“You can ask anyway,” I muttered, snuggling against his chest. “I feel amazing. Stars,  _ you  _ were amazing. In fact…” I gave him a wry grin. “If I didn’t know you were telling the truth, I’d probably call you a liar right now about not having lain with anybody before. How in all the world did you know how to make me feel this good, then?”

In response to his words, I felt something warm and pleased from him, his fingers gently combing through my hair.

“Admittedly it did not come without some research,” he answered, and I could hear the smile in his words, though he hesitated at his next words. “Well… I tried to get information from a male acquaintance who is married to another nér.”

"Well prepared indeed," I raised my eyebrows in amusement. "But… are you not scared of potential gossip about why Prince Maitimo might require such delicate information?"

Nelyo huffed softly. “Of course. Which was why I made sure he was rather drunk, and my questions very subtle nudges in the direction I wanted the conversation to go. The morning after, he was mortified and apologized profoundly for having told me so much about it.”

"Smart," I grinned, tracing invisible circles on his chest. "Mmh, I would have liked to see that. So…" I looked up to press a quick kiss to his lips before asking playfully, "… are there any  _ other _ interesting things that acquaintance of yours told you about that we might want to try?"

“Oh, absolutely,” Nelyo grinned back, but his eyes were shining with softness and warmth as he looked at me. “But I do think I will hold that information as a surprise for you.”

“Hmmm - I am looking forward to that,” I hummed with utter satisfaction, sliding my hand into his auburn hair and pulling him down for another kiss, this time deeper and more lingering than the one before. 

My heart was beating a little faster at the proposition, at the joyful promise of what the future would hold for the two of us. Little did we know then of the far-reaching consequences that our choice would have, of the darkness and the despair that were still far away then, no more than a shadow of clouds on a blissful, brilliant day.

And yet there is one truth that I have always known, a very simple truth that has given me comfort in many dark, lonely hours that came later. 

If I had to make that choice again - I would choose him over and over again.

**Author's Note:**

> Working title for this part was "This one time at summer camp". ;-)))


End file.
